If Jesus Walked Today- Chapter 2: The First Disciple!

          It was a bright and sunny day, as Jesus walked through the streets of South Central, L.A. looking for ways to reveal his identity and to glorify his Father in Heaven. Jesus liked to bring honor to God, and found that in honoring himself he was killing 3 birds with one stone. The trinity is not so hard to please, after all! As he trudged down the streets, watching everything that was happening around him, he happened upon a limo parked on the opposite side of the street. Perfect! A wealthy man to talk to about my plan! Jesus said to himself. After all, it is easier for a Southern Baptist preacher to lose weight at an all you can eat buffet, than it is for a rich man to pay his fair share of taxes! Or was it to enter the kingdom of God? I forget. The limo seemed normal enough, but as Jesus approached, the owner left the house it was parked in front of and came into view. It was Kobe Bryant himself!

          Jesus approached the man and quizzically peered his head back and forth. The basketball player towered over the humble Jewish carpenter, but seemed hesitant to move. “Are you the one they call Jesus?” Kobe asked with an uneducated but almost regal tone of voice.

          “I am.” Jesus smiled. “So you are Kobe Bryant… hmmm… May I have an autograph?”

          “Um… Sure!” Kobe said, completely caught off guard by the request! “Who should I make it out to? Jesus? Christ? I Am?”

          “Make it out to Gabriel the archangel.” Jesus answered promptly.

          “But I thought this was for you!” Kobe responded sharply, slowing the pen as he looked up at the Christ.

          “Nah! If you were Jordan, maybe… But hey, at least you aren’t Lebron!” Jesus then grabbed the picture, stuck it in his jeans he has just purchased from Buckle and looked back at the limo.

          “Tell me Kobe, why is it that you drive a limo when there are homeless people within a hundred yards in every direction? You realize you’re getting paid this much to play a game right?”

          “Well… What would you have me do?” The surprised Laker asked sincerely. Kobe looked down at the ground, trying not to meet Jesus’ gaze, and was surprised to see Jesus wearing the new Jordans.

          “Sell everything you have and give it to my people. Then follow me.” Jesus said, arms raised in the air pointing to the neighborhood around.

          “You want me to give all of my millions to the church?” Kobe asked, stunned.

          “I said ‘My people’ Kobe. Pay attention! I mean the homeless and oppressed. The people that actually need the money. What church needs a state of the art gymnasium for anyways?”

          Kobe smiled, and told the waiting limo driver that he would no longer be needing his services and to keep the limo as a reward. Then he began to follow Jesus down the street.

          “Now tell me where I can get a pair of those Jordans!” Kobe said as they walked!

          “If you can go a year without causing a scandal with a woman, I might multiply them and give you a pair.”

          “Sounds good to me!” Kobe smiled triumphantly.

          The two walked into the smog filled horizon of South Central, Los Angeles, and Kobe officially became the first disciple.


~ by Tim Kurek on October 16, 2008.

6 Responses to “If Jesus Walked Today- Chapter 2: The First Disciple!”

  1. Lol, that was humorous and I think we all can learn a lesson from Kobe!

  2. Honestly, I really don’t see Kobe as the first disciple lol! Very entertaining story though!

  3. Could I just put in that Jesus’ first disciples were fishermen? Also, I just don’t see Jesus shopping at the Buckle. Or wearing Air Jordans. Sandals and a robe. Maybe in this day and age Wal-Mart jeans and sneakers.

  4. WWJW? What would Jesus wear? I think Jesus would wear whatever it was those around him were wearing. Would it be Jordons? Sure. But He would have not went into debt for them while at the same time feeding the poor.

    In fact I can here Him saying, “If you have two pair of Jordons give to the one who has none.”

    Great second chapter Tim. Looking forward to chapter 3.

  5. David, I love you! haha… We may only know each other from blogging but you are my favorite person ever lol!

    You have me CRACKING UP right now!

    Check out my new blog!!!


  6. https://theevolutionofgod.wordpress.com/2008/10/19/to-everyone-that-has-commented/

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